After over 20 years of practicing massage therapy, I’ve decided it’s time for a change. No more kneading tight shoulders or working out knots in overworked backs. Instead, I’m turning my attention to a new, furrier clientele—dogs and cats.
Yes, you read that right. My massage therapy practice is now 100% dedicated to four-legged friends.
Why the switch? Well, after two decades of hearing humans groan, “Wow, I didn’t realize how tense I was!” and “Can you just live at my house and do this every day?” I realized something—dogs and cats never complain. They simply stretch, sigh, and melt into relaxation, as all good massage clients should.
Plus, have you ever massaged a golden retriever? It’s life-changing.
It turns out that our furry companions benefit from massage just as much as humans do. Dogs with arthritis, senior cats who struggle with stiffness, or even energetic puppies and kittens who need help relaxing can all experience relief from gentle, therapeutic touch. And unlike people, they won’t tense up thinking about their to-do list halfway through the session.
Of course, there have been a few adjustments. My massage table have been replaced with fluffy blankets on the floor. Essential oils have been swapped out for the natural scent of peanut butter treats. And instead of soft spa music, I now work to the sound of gentle purring and occasional tail wags.
Scheduling appointments has also become interesting. Dogs show up early and overly excited, wagging their entire bodies in anticipation. Cats, on the other hand, may or may not show up at all, depending on their mood. (I’m learning to be very flexible.)
So, if you were hoping to book a massage for yourself, I’m sorry to say that I am no longer available—unless you happen to have fur and walk on four legs. But if your dog is looking a little stiff after too many zoomies, or your cat seems grumpy after a long nap, I’m here to help.
After all, happy pets make happy humans. And in the end, that’s what massage therapy is all about.
And if you got this far, please look at the date of this article before sending me nasty phone calls and emails: April Fools!
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